My Immortal
by Night Owl 93
Summary: New Moon/Breaking Dawn Jacob Black has mourned the loss of his close friend for seven months. Now a girl enters his life who will unknowingly help him move on, or suffer fatal consequences. AH OOC Jake/Ness no lemons inspired by My Immortal by Evanescence
1. So Tired Of Being Here

**JPOV-**

I'm so tired of being here, but I can't stay away. I've been here every day for seven months since it happened.

It's barely two in the afternoon and, as usual, the sky is covered by a thick gray blanket of clouds. How appropriate.

I trudge my way through the muddy woods out to the open space.

_Bella?_

No, not Bella. What was I thinking? The resemblance isn't even close. This girl's hair is long and red, almost copperish, and flows in curls down her back, and her arms and legs are long. She stands on the edge of the cliff, her hands in the pockets of her dark gray parka, tapping her foot tunelessly while staring out towards the horizon.

"Hey!" I yell to her.

She turns to me, blinks and says, "Oh, hi." smiling. Her jawline is sharp and her cheeks are rosy-red.

I clutch my jacket tight around my lanky body and walk to her.

"What are you doing up here?" I ask her.

"Oh," she answers turning her gaze back towards the water, "just admiring the view."

I notice how dangerously close she's standing. "Are you sure you want to be standing so close?"

She looks down at the rocks, then at me. "Why?" Her eyes are round and colored chestnut brown, almost like-

"Because," I grumble, shaking my head, "you could-"

I look down at the bottom of the cliff, at the cruel waters beating against the rocks

"-you could fall."

Suddenly all I hear is the waves splashing against the shore as Bella layed cold and stilll under me.

I realize that the girl I was talking to said something and I turn back to her. "I-I'm sorry?"

Now she's standing at least two feet back from where she was standing before.

"I said 'Alright, if you say so' and moved back."

"Oh." I look down once more, then step back. "Sorry, I guess I kind of spaced out."

"It's okay."

"So what's your name?"

She smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear. "Renesmee."

I raise my eyebrows. "Renesmee? That's a very, um, different name."

She rolls her eyes and groans, "Yeah, yeah, I know. My parents named me after my grandma or something. I hate it."

"I like it. I think it's interesting."

She smiles sweetly. "Well thank you, uuh-?"

"Jacob." I answer.

"Jacob." she whispers to herself, nodding as if in approval. "Well, I guess I'll see you around." she says while walking away, "Later Jake."

I look towards her in surprise. No one ever called me "Jake", well, except for-

I return to the edge and look down, observing the water. I watch the waves crash against the rocks, go up the wall in a salty foam, then collapse back into the ocean.

I picture Bella in the same place I'm standing, and the tears already start to come out.

I wonder what she was thinking at the time. What she must have been feeling.

Loneliness?

Heartbreak?

Hopelesness?

* * *

**my newest Jake X Nessie fic. inspired by **_My Immortal_ **by Evanescence (my favorite band XD)**

**this one is a _lot _sadder than my others, but it's still awesome.**

**Rate/Review/Comment**


	2. There's Just Too Much Time Cannot Erase

"Hi Jake. How are you?" Aunt Emily greets me as I enter my house. I don't even respond; she already knows "how I'm doing." Sam looks my way, not saying anything, and continues watching football on the TV. He doesn't even know what he can and can't say to me anymore.

My dad's been gone since I was eleven. He drove off to buy cigarettes... and didn't bother driving back. Mom died giving birth to me so since I didn't have any parents left to take care of me, my uncle Sam and aunt Emily took me in instead of letting me get stuck in foster care.

Emily starts to say, "Listen, Jake-" but I ignore her and walk straight to my room. I slam the door shut and fall back onto my bed.

I hear Dad and Emily beginning their usual argument:

_"Sam, I think Jacob should see someone. a professional."_

_"He's going through a real tough time right now. Let's just let him be for a while Em. He'll work through this on his own time. I mean his best friend jumped off a cliff for god's sake!"_

My hand clenches into a fist so tight I can feel my nails cutting into the skin of my palm. They have no right talking about her like that!

_"But he isn't getting any better,"_ Emily continues,_ "especially after his... accident."_

I pull my head phones over my ears and turn up the stereo so loud it hurts my ears to tune them out.

I roll up my left sleeve and run my thumb across the dark pink line running horizontally across my wrist. Accident. I hate it when everyone refers to it as an "accident." As if it'll make it okay, or atleast easier to talk about. They've obviously never had to pull their dead friend out of the water and watch her die in their arms or else they wouldn't think like that.

Sam and Emily are both wrong. Ignoring it never solves anything, and shrinks are full of shit.

This pain can never heal, no matter how much time goes by.

It hurts to much to be erased.

* * *

**pretty f***in' down isn't it? ya, i was in a pretty dark place when i wrote this. i was getting over my uncle's suicide and i heard **_My Immortal _**and was in this kind of state of mind, i just applied it to **New Moon**.**

**Rate/Review/Comment**


	3. Your Face Haunts My Once Pleasant Dreams

"Bella! Bella, wake up! BELLA!" I yell and shake her stiff shoulders and pat her pale cheeks, but she just lays there, still and cold and wet on the ground. Heavy raindrops pelt her face, but it doesn't seem to stir her.

CPR. My reasonable thinking kicks in. I press my hands against her chest one, two, three, four, five times, pinch her nose, and breathe into her mouth. I'd often fantasized of pressing my lips against hers, but not like this. I lean my ear against her icy blue lips to check if she's breathing. Nothing.

I press against her chest one, two, three, four, five times again and breathe down her mouth again. I check again for a breath. Still nothing.

I keep trying CPR.

One, two, three, four, five, breathe.

One, two, three, four, five, breathe.

One, two, three, four, five, breathe.

One, two, three, four, five, breathe.

I check again for a breath; she's still not breathing. I press my ear against her sternum to check for a heartbeat. Nothing.

I lift my head back up. This isn't Bella. Her body is much longer and her hair is curled and copper-colored. "Renesmee!" I gasp. Suddenly she opens her eyes, making me jump back. She turns her head to her right and lifts her arm. I look in the same direction as she does. Standing above her is Bella. She wears a flowing white gown that touches her feet. He reaches down and takes Renesmee's hand and pulls her to her feet, and they both walk away along the shoreline. I try to run after them, but the water rushes around my feet, slowing me down. Before I know it, the water is up to my neck and I'm lost in an endless sea. I search for Bella and Renesmee, but they're nowhere to be found.

I snap out of my sleep, sucking in a harsh breath and standing straight up in my bed. The light outside is dimming to a dull glowing blue. I must have passed out. I rip my headphones off and lie back down, letting out a heavy sigh. I try to close my eyes and go back to sleep, but all I can see behind my eyelids is Renesmee lying cold and lifeless on the shore.

_"Save her Jake." _

I sit upright again.

"Bella?"

That was her voice I heard; I know it. Where is it coming from?

_"Save her." _

There she is again. I follow her voice to the front door. Sam and Emily aren't here anymore. There's no note or anything. That's not like them.

_"Jake."_

"Bells?" I follow her voice out through the front door. I stand on the front porch, looking left to right, hugging my jacket against me in the chilly winter air, but she isn't anywhere to be seen.

"Great. Now I'm hearing things," I mutter, shaking my head, "Maybe I do need some help."

I turn to go back inside, then stop when I see a blur of white rush through the trees out of the corner of my eye. I look to where I saw it. Whatever it was, it seemed to have been on the path through the woods. The path to the cliffs.

The winds start to kick up, blowing dead brown leaves up from the ground, as thicker, darker clouds start to roll in. A chill runs up my spine, but it's not from the cold.

_"Hurry." _

Bella's voice calls out to me again from the forest path_._

A raindrop hits the tip of my nose.

I pull my hood over my head and run up the path to the cliffs.

_

* * *

_**i'****m finally continuing this again, which is good 'cuz this is probably my favorite Twi-fic i've ever done** **next to FTMISY and it's been way too long since i've last updated this **

**the supernatural elements are finally starting to come in :D! yay!**

**let me know what you think  
**


	4. Don't Let Me Die Here

_words in _**bold**_ are titles of evanescence songs put in, that were actually totally on accident :D_

* * *

I race through the woods, my legs pumping, my muscles already getting sore.

_This is stupid_, I think to myself, _It was just a stupid dream. It doesn't mean anything. That girl is fine._

But something in my gut tells me that something is wrong. Something's very, _very_ wrong.

I break through the trees, finding myself at the shore instead of the cliffs. I could have sworn I went the right way.

Dark clouds roll threateningly overhead, turning the sky black.

I look up to the cliffs. A figure stands dangerously close to the edge. Even from this distance I can see her coppery locks fluttering in the wind.

Tiny droplets start to sprinkle from the dark sky.

She strips off her jacket and stands on the edge, her arms held wide from her sides.

She's not going to do what I think she is, is she? Can't she see the dangerously high waves crashing brutally against the rocks?

Her legs bend and propel her body of the cliff into the cruel water, diving headfirst with her arms stretched forward and her fingers pointed like a professional.

"NO!" I scream.

She somehow must have heard me over the thundering waves, because her body suddenly twists awkwardly and crashes into the water. Her head pops up for a second, then is quickly smothered out of sight by another enormous wave. She doesn't come back up.

I throw my jacket and sweatshirt on the ground behind me, leaving me in just my jeans. I throw off my sneakers and dive into the icy water. I torpedo through the rushing water toward where I saw her fall, moving parallel to the shoreline instead of against the tide to keep from **going under**. I look around for her, but I can't see her anywhere.

_No_, I cry in my head, _not again_.

I find her. She's pinned up against one of the rocks, holding on for dear life, still barely conscious. The waves splash relentlessly against her head.

I swim toward her and peel her off the rock, her frail body falling limp in my arms. I put her on my back and try to swim back to shore, holding her body against mine, but the waves keep trying to shove us both back toward the rocks. I fight against them, which only makes it worse. Another wave crashes over us, sucking us both down. I feel Renesmee slipping from my grasp.

NO!

I twist around, reaching blindly for her. I find her waist and pull us both back to the surface.

I put her around my back again and try again to swim towards the shore. The waves keep splashing over us, but I keep us both above the water.

When I finally make it to the shore, I pull her **farther** **away **from the tide onto dry land, laying her on her back.

I brush her wet hair out of her face.

"Renesmee, wake up," I say, patting her cheek, "Come on, wake up!"

I check for her breath. She's not breathing.

I press my fingers against her neck directly under her jaw. There is a pulse. It's very weak.

I press my hands against her chest five times, whispering under my breath 'please no, please no, please,' each time I push. I peel her mouth open, pinch her nose, and breathe into her.

She's still not breathing.

"Oh god, not again!"

I keep doing CPR.

One, two, three, four, five, breathe.

One, two, three, four, five, breathe.

One, two, three, four-

Water spurts out of Renesmee's mouth. I turn her on her side and she props herself on her elbows as the remainder of the water is vomited out of her mouth. She collapses on the ground, gasping for breath.

I hold her in my arms.

"Renesmee, hey," I say, patting her face, "Renesmee, are you okay?"

She looks up at me, her brown eyes open wide, her body shivering.

"J-J-Jacob?" she says shakily.

"Yeah." I answer nodding, breathing a sigh of relief. She's alive.

"W-w-wh-wh-wha-?"

"Hold on." I quickly grab my jacket and wrap it around her. "Come on," I say, picking her up onto her feet, "We gotta get you dry and warm before you get hypothermia." Actually before we_ both_ do, but her life is more important.

I try to walk with her, but her legs are so shaky she nearly collapses. I catch her before she hits the ground. There's no way she's going to be able to walk. I scoop her up in my arms and carry her along the trail.

She wraps her arms around my neck and holds on to me even tighter.

"Y-y-you're s-so warm-m." she says shakily.

A smirk cracks my face.

* * *

**i've been adding to this story non-stop lately, and i LOVE it **_:D_

_**review please**  
_


	5. All This'll Make Sense When I Get Better

Once we get to my house, I sit her down on the living room floor and start a fire.

"Are you okay?" I ask, caressing her damp head.

She nods. "Y-Yeah. I'm j-just col-ld." she answers shivering.

"I'll get you some towels and new clothes." I tell her, fighting a shiver of my own.

I get her clean towels and some dry clothes, one of my sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants, to change in to. I myself change into a fresh pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. When I go back into the living room, Renesmee is parked in front of the fireplace, her arms held out to warm her hands, a plaid wool blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

"Feel better?" I ask her as I sit next to her.

"Yeah." she says nodding.

"You want some hot chocolate?" I offer.

"Hell yes." she answers eagerly.

I smile at her enthusiastic answer and walk into the kitchen and rummage through the cupboards for the cocoa mix. Renesmee follows after me, keeping the blanket wrapped around her, and sits on the stool in front of the counter.

I finally find the Swiss Mix box. I fill two mugs with water and mix the contents in them and put them both in the microwave.

The light on the answer machine is flashing. I press the play button.

"_Hello, Jacob? Pick up."_

That's Sam.

"_Jacob are you there? I don't know if you're awake yet or if you're still asleep, but I was calling to tell you that Harry had a heart attack earlier and he's in the Emergency Room. They don't know if he's going to be alright or not, but we're going to wait here until we find out more. We might be here all night. We'll see you tomorrow Jacob." _Click. Message over.

I let out a heavy sigh and rub my forehead. First Bella, now Harry. People I care about keep dropping off like flies lately. Sometimes I seriously think god's out to get me.

I hear Renesmee say, "Sorry about Harry."

I look over at her through my hair. "What are you sorry for?" I say, a little bit too bitterly, "It's not like you know him or anything."

Renesmee blinks and looks down at her hands that are resting on the countertop. "I just meant it's really sad, you know, when something like that happens to somebody. Bad things just happen to good people I guess." she says with a shrug.

_WHAM. _That all too familiar pain hits my heart like a mallet to my chest.

_Ding._

Saved by the microwave. I turn, hiding my wet eyes, and take out the mugs of hot chocolate.

"Hey, I'm sorry I snapped like that." I say.

"It's okay." she says with a sympathetic smile.

I set the cup in front of Renesmee, laying my own to the side. She picks it up with both hands, blows on the steamy liquid, and takes a sip.

"Thank you." she says.

"It's no big deal."

"Not this," she says, gesturing to the cocoa, "I meant, you know, saving my life and all."

"Oh," I say, taken back, "don't mention it."

"I mean it. I mean, I don't think I know anybody, besides you, who'd pull some random girl out of the water, give her CPR, and let alone take her home and get her fresh clothes and keep her from freezing to death."

_WHAM. _There it is again. I can't hold it back this time. A tear slips down my cheek and hits the white tile floor.

"Jake, what's wrong?" she asks, shocked.

I shake my head, wiping my eyes. "N-Nothing. Nothing." I mumble.

"Jake-" she started, moving to stand up.

"It's nothing! Just leave me alone!" I snap, stomping to room, slamming the door behind me.

_Real mature, Jacob._

I sit on the edge of the side of my bed, seething, my face buried in my hands.

I thought this would help make me better, helping Renesmee, but she's just a painful reminder of what I couldn't do for Bella. How I tried to save her and failed, and now she's gone, and it's _my fault_.

Renesmee knocks at my door, then opens before I can answer.

"I'll be fine," I say roughly, not lifting my face from my hands, "I just need a moment alone, okay?"

She doesn't leave. Instead she walks over to the bed and sits next to me.

I look up at her, my vision blurred by the tears running down my face. "You don't give up do you?" I ask, sniffling.

She shakes her head. "Nope." she answers with a low smile. She hands me a tissue; she's holding a handful of them. I take one and use it to dry off my face and blow my nose. It takes a couple more before my nasals are finally cleared.

"Thanks." I say to her once my nose isn't so stuffy.

"You're welcome." she replies.

I throw the tissues on the floor.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks.

"Not really."

"I just don't understand why you'd be so upset about helping me-"

"What makes you so sure this is about you?" I growl, glaring at her, my body trembling in anger.

Her eyes widen in sudden fear and she backs away.

I freeze, allowing myself to cool down, and hold my hand out. "No, I'm sorry," I say, "It's not your fault, really. It's just- I just haven't exactly been all together lately."

She takes my hand in hers. "It's alright. You don't have to talk about it if you really don't want to."

"My best friend died."

The words just spill out of my mouth. Why am I telling her this? I shouldn't be bothering her with all my petty personal problems.

"Oh my god," she gasps, "I'm so sorr- I mean, that's What happened?"

"She… she jumped off a cliff. The same one you did."

"Oh. So that's why you got all upset, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I whisper, eyes closed, nodding. "What the hell were you thinking anyway?" I suddenly demand, "Jumping off that cliff when there was a storm coming? Are you nuts?"

"No," she says defensively, "I was just cliff diving. I saw some guys doing it later after I met you and I thought it'd be fun."

I knew which guys she's talking about. Sam and the rest of his little pack. My hand balls into a fist on my lap. I could _kill_ them!

"I guess it was pretty stupid, huh?" she says meekly.

"Yeah it was."

"Is that… what happened to her? Your friend?"

"Bella. Her name's Bella. And no, not exactly."

Renesmee gives me a confused look, her eyebrows furrowed, then she blinks in realization.

"Oh," she says quietly, "Oh god, that's so awful."

"She had a boyfriend, this guy Edward. She was completely head-over-heels for him and one day, on her birthday of all days, he dumped her." I know I don't want to tell her all of this, but something is telling me I should. "He told her he didn't love her, that he didn't want her and he didn't want anything to do with her anymore. She was so broken up over it. She never left the house, wouldn't talk to anyone; she was like a zombie, just totally empty." _Just like me. _"Then a couple months ago, she decided to end it. I pulled her out of the water, tried to give her CPR, but I was too late." My eyes start watering up again. "Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't have happened, if I could've stopped her if I had just told her how I really felt about her. How I cared for her as more than just a friend."

Renesmee doesn't say anything. She just scoots closer until our hips are up against each other and she puts her arm around me and rests her head on my shoulder. Her contact is comforting to me.

"Jake," she says softly, comfortingly, "sometimes bad things happen to the ones we love, and sometimes those we care about make decisions that we may not understand, but everything that ever happens, it happens for a reason. It may not make sense at first and it never seems right or fair, but it all works itself out in the end. The dark is always darkest just **before the dawn**."

After all this, I keep waiting for the pain in my heart to hit, for tears to start flowing, but I don't feel any of it. Actually, an enormous weight feels like it's been lifted off my chest.

I feel… lighter.

"Thank you," I say to her, "for hearing me out. For helping me, even though you don't really know me all that much."

She looks up at me and smiles. "I guess that makes us even then."

She then puts her other arm around me and hugs me.

I hug her back.

We both sit there, holding each other in total quiet. I prefer the silence.

She pulls back. "Feel better?"

"Yes, actually, I do." I answer, nodding, an actual smile on my face.

She smiles and tousles my hair. "Let's go finish that chocolate before it gets cold."

"Yeah." I say in agreement.

She takes my hand and leads us back into the kitchen.

She sits back in the stool at the counter and starts sipping her cocoa.

"Want some marshmallows in that?" I offer.

"Of course," she answers cheerily, "Marshmallows are the best part."

I fish around in the pantry for the marshmallows and toss Renesmee the fresh, still unopened bag. She catches it easily and tears through the plastic with her fingers. She pours the marshmallows in until a thick layer of marshmallows floats on top of the chocolate.

I put a couple in my own mug.

She takes a sip of her chocolate and when she takes the mug from her lips, she has a chocolate mustache on her upper lip.

I choke back a snicker.

"What?" she asks, completely oblivious.

"You-you got a little…" I gesture to the area around her mouth, trying my best not to laugh.

She wipes the corner of her mouth, missing it completely, and looks at her fingers.

"Did I get it?" she asks.

I shake my head, laughing.

I take a napkin and go around the counter to her. "Here, let me get it."

I wipe the chocolate mustache off for her.

I look into her eyes. She looks back. Neither of us look away.

"Shouldn't we call your folks?" I ask, breaking the silence, "let them know what happened?"

"Actually I'm supposed to be staying at my cousin Amy's place tonight," she explains, "I told I was going to go roam around for awhile. But I guess I really should tell her what's going on."

I go back around the counter and pick the phone up from the receiver. She takes it and dials a number.

It takes a few seconds before somebody finally answers.

"Hey, Amy?" Renesmee says into the phone.

"Renesmee?" the voice on the other line says; the phone is so loud it's easy to hear what the person on the other line is saying, even from the other side of the room, _"Hey, where are you?"_

"I'm staying at… a friend's."

"_Friend?" _Amy says, her voice perking up, _"Male or female?"_

Renesmee looks up at me and smiles, her cheeks turning red, and answers a little quieter, "Male."

"_Renesmee!" _Amy squeals so loudly it causes Renesmee to pull the phone farther from her ear.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Renesmee says.

"_You dog," _Amy says, _"Who is he?"_

"None of your business."

"_But what if your parents call?" _Amy asks coyly, _"I mean, they need to know what their little girl is up to, don't they?"_

"Oh god, please don't; they'll freak!"

"_Okay, I won't tell your parents where you are on one condition."_

"What?" Renesmee groans, rolling her eyes.

"_You have to bring him over when you come back here."_

"Amy!"

"_Hey, I just want to see this guy with my own two eyes. So, deal or no deal?"_

Renesmee sighs, defeated, "Okay, fine. We'll see you tomorrow." and cuts off the call.

She drops the phone onto the counter and groans, "Uuuuuugggghhh," putting her head in her hands, her fingers in her hair, "She's so annoying."

She looks up at me and gives a dry smile. Her eyes are looking kind of droopy.

"You look a little tired." I say.

"Yeah," she sighs, resting her chin in her hand, "I guess I am."

"You can sleep on my bed if you want," I offer, "and I can crash on the couch." I'd never stay in Sam and Emily's bed, with the things that have gone on in it.

"Oh, you don't have to do that," she says, "really. I'll sleep on the couch. I'd rather be near the fire anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

She then gets up and walks back to the living room with her hot chocolate and sits on the floor just in front of the couch.

"Aren't you going to come join me?" she calls out to me.

I go to her, leaving my own hot chocolate on the counter, and sit on the floor beside her.

She has the blanket around her shoulders again. Both of us have our backs against the couch, our shoulders touching. Renesmee's long legs are stretched out so her feet can be warmed by the fire.

"Get under the blanket with me." she tells me.

I give her a strange look and she says, "Hey, I need the warmth."

I lift the blanket and put it over my own shoulder so we're both wrapped up under the wool blanket.

I stretch out my own legs so my feet are right beside hers. She playfully bumps her foot against mine. I smile and bump hers right back.

She rests her cheek on my shoulder and nuzzles up against me.

"Mmm, you're so warm." she says, smiling and closing her eyes in contentment.

I smile and rest my cheek on her curly head.

Her hand seeks mine under the blanket. I take it, our palms together and our fingers entwined.

I feel my own eyelids starting to get heavy. The last thing I see before my eyes droop shut is the orange glow of the fire.

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**the words in bold is another Evanescence song title. this one was on purpose though; i just thought it was appropriate.**

**this is the longest and most dramatic chapter in this story which makes me feel so SOOO accomplished :))  
**


	6. I'm Gonna Let It Go

"Jake."

Bella's voice stirs me out of my sleep. It's coming from outside.

The fire has died down, leaving only red-orange embers in the fireplace.

I look over at Renesmee. She's still sound asleep, curled up under the blanket, resting against the couch. I reach over and brush a coppery strand from her forehead. She lets out a light sigh and stirs, but still lies sound asleep.

"Jake."

I hear Bella calling out to me again. I stand, pulling the blanket up over Renesmee's shoulder to her neck, and follow Bella's voice outside.

It's pitch black outside. I look up to the night sky, which is glittering with stars, searching for the moon. It's face is a blank purple, devoid of any light.

"Jake."

I turn my attention before me. My breath catches in my throat and I can feel the tears already starting to form in my eyes.

"B-Bella?"

She nods her head slowly in response.

Bella is just as beautiful as she was when she was alive. Her skin is as white as the gown that flows down to her feet. Her dark chestnut hair flows in silky waves down her shoulders.

I reach my hand out to touch her face, but it passes through her like she's made of vapor.

"Am I dreaming?" I ask. How else could this be possible?

She shakes her head. "No," she says softly, "not this time." Her voice is soft and airy, like a breeze.

"But, you're-" I can't finish my sentence. It's too painful to admit.

"I know," she says, "I just came to say goodbye."

"Goodbye? What do you mean goodbye?"

She gestures behind her. "I have to leave. And you're not going to hear from me again."

"No!" I shout, "You can't leave!"

"I have to Jake. I can't stay here any longer."

"Says who?" I spit coldly.

She opens her mouth, and answers, "I… can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"It's… it's complicated. That's all just too much information for you to know right now. I need to move on Jake." She takes my hands in hers, her body suddenly solid. "And you need to do the same."

I choke out through my sudden flow of tears, "Please. Don't go."

"You can't grieve for me forever Jake," She turns over my left hand, exposing my wrist and the deep pink scar running across it. "and you can't come after me."

I turn my hands in hers so our palms are pressed together and our fingers are locked. "I love you Bella." I tell her.

She looks up at me as if she's about to cry herself. She places her palm against my cheek, rough with sprouting fur. I lean my face into her hand, enjoying the cool sensation of her unbelievably smooth skin. "I know." she whispers back. She looks toward the house, then back to me with a smile on her face, the same smile that I missed for a long time. "But you already have someone for you right here." She lifts up and kisses my cheek and whispers in my ear, "Be happy Jake."

She then begins to walk off into the darkness with a smile, her fingers slipping from my hand. She walks into a fog that seems to have come from nowhere. Her body fades in it, blends with it, and vanishes.

"Goodbye." I whisper quietly into the air.

"Jake?" a voice called from behind me.

I looked to Renesmee standing in the doorway, holding the blanket around her shoulders.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked, walking to me.

I look back to where Bella just was, but she's gone. She's gone.

I wipe the tears off my face and look up at the moon. A light sliver of white is peaking out from the edge of the moon's surface. A smile starts to spread across my face. I look down at Renesmee, who's now standing at my side. "I was just looking at the moon." I say, looking back up. She does the same.

"The light's finally coming back through." she says.

"Yeah. It is." I say, more to myself than her, nodding.

A shiver rushes through me. That's when I become conscious of how cold it really is.

I wrap my arm around Renesmee's shoulder.

"Come on," I say, "Let's get you back inside."

I lead her back into the house, and I close the door behind me.

* * *

**this was definitely the hardest chapter for me to write, personally. the same thing happened with me when my uncle Matt who committed suicide. not EXACTLY the same thing, but just having to let go so i could move on (so could he), which is where the idea of this story came from in the first place so i guess everything does happen for a reason :) he was haunting me in my dreams too  
**

**RIP**

**only one more chapter to go :DD**


	7. We'll Leave Our Broken World Behind

I wake up just a few minutes before the sunrise. The faint blue light glows through the windows.

Renesmee is still sleeping soundly on the couch, curled up on her side under the wool blanket. She looks so innocent. I feel a sudden need to protect her, seeing her in such a state.

My hair falls over my eyes, obscuring my vision. I hiss in annoyance and walk quietly to the bathroom. Me and Renesmee's wet clothes lay in a hamper in the corner. I need to put them through the dryer.

I turn on the light and examine my reflection in the mirror. My hair is still blocking my eyes, so I push it across my forehead.

The shadows around my eyes are starting to fade. My face is dark with a growing beard. It's been a while since I've had a shave. I rub my rough chin.

My hair falls back over my eyes.

I growl and hold up some of the long hair before my eyes between my fingers.

I need a haircut. Well, no time like the present.

I fish around through the drawer for the scissors and comb and I turn the knobs on the sink.

...

"Mmmm, what smells good?" I hear Renesmee sigh from the living room.

"Good, you're awake." I call back to her from the kitchen.

I stir the yellow scrambled eggs mixed with onions and bell peppers in the pan and turn off the stove. They're about done.

I look back into the living room and see her arms stretch out from the edge of the couch while she lets out a long groan.

She gets up from the couch and walks towards the kitchen, scratching her scruffy bed-hair, smacking her lips, her eyes still half-shut. She sits in the stool at the counter. She closes her eyes and inhales deeply through her nose.

"Mmm, eggs," she sighs contentedly, "my favorite."

"Good," I say, an accomplished smile on my face.

I scrape the contents of the pan onto two plates and sit one on the countertop in front of her. I put the pan in the sink and wipe my hands on my jeans.

She inhales the smell of the eggs and smiles, then opens her eyes and looks up at me, and gasps, "Woah!"

A grin spreads across my face. "Like my new look?" I ask, propping my elbows on top of the counter, crossing my arms, leaning closer.

"Your hair," she whispers, wide-eyed in amazement, "It's so _short_."

I smile as she feels my now short hair, still damp and spiked with water.

"And your face!" she gasps, feeling her hands across my hard cheekbones and under my jaw, obviously enjoying the now baby-smooth skin. She looks in my eyes and presses her pink lips together. Her cheeks start to blush.

She drops her hands down into her lap.

"These eggs sure do smell good." she says, looking down at her plate.

"Here." I say, taking a fork out of the silverware drawer next to me. I scoop a mound of the yellowy clumps and bits of onion and hold it in front of Renesmee's face. She opens her mouth and encloses her lips around the fork. I pull the fork out from her lips. She chews the eggs and sounds a moan.

"Gaw, theesh are good." she says with her mouth still full before she swallows. "Thank you."

She snatches the fork from my hand and shovels more eggs into her mouth.

"So I guess I can take that as a compliment." I say, taking my plate of eggs and my own fork and sit next to her.

She looks up at me and smiles, her mouth full, and nods.

I eat my eggs while watching Renesmee scarf down hers. By the time I'm halfway done with my own plate, hers is wiped clean.

She licks her lips and sighs, "Man, those are some good eggs."

"Let me clean your plate for you." I offer, taking up her plate with the fork laying on the center.

"Sure," she says, "Now, how about _I_ clean off _your_ plate for _you_?" She creeps her fingers closer to my plate. I swipe the plate away from her grasp and hold it up in the air. She reaches her hands up as if the plate is just out of her reach, even though it really isn't, and she pouts her bottom lip pathetically.

She looks so cute and sad that I surrender my plate over to her.

She takes it with a gleeful smile, saying in a tone that matches her smile, "Thank you baby." and starts chowing down.

'Baby.' I like that.

I turn on the water in the sink and start washing the pan with a scour-sponge and dish soap under the warm water. Just as I set the pan in the dish rack and start scrubbing my plate, Renesmee comes and hands me the other.

"You really _do_ like eggs, don't you?" I ask as I wash the second plate.

She nods, humming an, "Mm-_hmm!" _She leans back against the counter to my right, watching me scrub at the plate. When it's all cleaned off and I set it in the dish rack next to the one I just previously cleaned. Renesmee takes a clean, dry washcloth and dries them both off and puts them away in the cupboard. It takes her a couple looks before she finds the correct one.

"Thanks." I say as I wipe clean the forks and put them back in the drawer.

"Do you want something to drink?" I ask, taking a glass out of the cupboard by my head.

"Sure." she answers.

I get another glass.

I open the fridge and examine the contents inside.

"Let's see," I sigh, "we have milk, some orange juice, cranberry juice, and, of course, water."

"Mmm, I think I'll have milk."

"Milk it is."

I fill a glass with milk and hand it to her. I fill my own with orange juice.

Renesmee goes back into the living room and plops down on the couch. She swallows a sip of milk and lets out a quenched sigh. "Want to watch some TV?" she asks.

"Sure." I answer, sitting on the couch beside Renesmee.

I take up the remote and turn on the TV. The only thing on right now is the news. Renesmee snuggles up against my ribs as we both watch, which makes me smile, and I wrap my hand around her waist.

The authorities have caught the people behind all the disappearances in Seattle. Victoria Howard and her boyfriend Riley were arrested for kidnapping over twenty people from the Seattle area.

After that came the weather report. Sunny skies today. The first day of sun for months.

The front door opens, and Sam walks in. Emily follows soon after him. As she walks through the door, she yawns and scratches her thick curly black haired head. They both look like they didn't sleep too much. They're both so worn-down they don't notice me or Renesmee.

"Good morning." Renesmee exclaims, causing the both of them to jump.

They both look over at us, perplexed.

"Um, morning." Sam says. Emily just moves her eyes between Renesmee and me.

"So how's Harry doing?" I ask.

"He'll be alright," he answers as he fills a fresh filter with beans into the coffeemaker.

Emily hangs up her coat and purse on the hangers by the door. "Who's your friend?" she asks me, a slight smile on her face, obviously thrilled to see me with another human being.

Especially a girl.

Especially a girl like Renesmee.

"This is Renesmee." I answer, nudging my head at her.

Renesmee waves her fingers her fingers at Emily and says "Hi."

I then notice her nails have a partially chipped off layer of dark pink paint on them.

In the corner of my vision, I can see Sam looking over at me and Renesmee, trying to be inconspicuous, the same look of disbelief that Emily has.

A dull buzzer sounds from a room on the other end of the house.

"That's the dryer," I say, standing up, "Our clothes are dry now." Renesmee stands and takes my hand and follows me to the laundry room in the rear end of the house. Sam and Em stare at us as we walk through the kitchen.

In the laundry room, which is just a square former-closet with the washer and dryer crammed in it, leaving barely any room for me and Renesmee to stand in, I fish my hands around in the dryer and come out with her gray v-neck shirt and jeans.

"Here you go," I say, handing her the hot dry clothes, "Nice and dry."

"Thanks." she says as she takes her clothes. She holds them against her face and smiles. "Ahh, nice and warm."

She then sets her clothes on top of the washer, and then turns her back towards me and peels off the sweatshirt. I throw my hand over my face and duck my head. I can't believe this gorgeous girl is stripping down right in front of me! I part my fingers and peak through them just as Renesmee starts pushing down the sweatpants. Her bra is soft pink and her underwear is a matching color with lace, fitting perfectly over her butt. I feel sad when she pulls on her jeans and shirt.

When she turns back around, I quickly cover my eyes again.

I hear her giggle, "Did you see anything you like?"

I feel my face get hot as I lower my hand.

Renesmee looks down at a lower part of my body. "I'll take that as a 'yes'."

My face gets even hotter. Renesmee giggles some more.

She pushes open the door and steps out.

"You ready to take me home?" she asks, putting her hands in her pockets.

"Sure," I answer, slamming shut the dryer, "Let's go."

We both walk out to the kitchen, where Sam is the paper while sipping his coffee at the counter while Em is cooking pancakes on the stove.

"Mmm," Renesmee says, "those smell good."

"Thank you," Em says with a smile, the scar across her cheek crinkling, "Would you like one?"

"I would, but I better be going home now. It was nice meeting you both."

"You too." Sam and Em say as I lead Renesmee to the door.

"Hey Jacob?" Em says. I stop and turn to her.

I hear Renesmee say, "I'll just wait outside." and she steps out onto the front porch.

"Yeah Em?" I say.

Em then walks up to me and nearly crushes me to death in the tightest hug ever. When she finally loosens her grip, she says, "I'm glad you've found someone." She then scratches the top of my head. "I love your new hairdo, by the way."

I laugh lightly, "Thanks." and start back to the door. "I'll see you guys later."

"Hey Jake!" Sam says, causing me to stop and turn back. He looks out through the door, then at me and nods, "Very nice."

A balled up dish towel flies through the air and hits him right in his smug face. He gets up out of his chair and starts snapping the towel at Em's legs while she squeals. I shake my head and walk out the front door where Renesmee is waiting.

"Ready to go?" I ask her.

"Yeah." she answers. I put my arm around her waist and walk with her over to the garage.

"Your aunt and uncle look like they're having fun." she says with a smirk.

"Yeah," I chuckle, "I guess."

She then tilts her face up to the sky. The sunlight glows against her skin and shines in her hair, making her look like an angel. Her eyes are closed, relaxed in the warmth of the sun's light.

"Nice day today, isn't it?" she says, keeping her eyes closed.

"Yeah," I say, staring at her, mesmerized, "it sure is."

When we get to the garage, I pull up the wooden door, allowing the light to pour in on my dust-covered Rabbit and the stained sheet covering the bike in the corner.

Renesmee raises an eyebrow and runs a finger over the dust-coated trunk.

"I know," I say, taking the key chain off the nail in the wall and jingling the keys in my hand, "It's been a while since I've taken it out, but it should drive just fine."

"Hey, what's this?" I hear her ask. She pulls the sheet off, revealing the still spotless motorcycle underneath. The sun's light reflects off the black chrome surface. "Woah." she says, her voice almost a whisper. She throws her hair behind her shoulder and straddles the leather seat.

"Sweet," she remarks, wrapping her hands around the handlebars. "How about this?" she asks, twisting the throttle, a grin painted across her face. She looks so natural on that bike.

I don't bother telling her how I got the bike, how it was a present from Bella. Her goodbye present.

"Can you ride?" I ask her, raising my eyebrows.

"Pff, totally."

I roll the bike out of the garage into the sun. I throw my leg over the seat, keeping the bike propped up on my other leg. I forgot how comfortable the seat was.

Renesmee takes her seat behind me and wraps her hands around my abdomen.

I put the key into the ignition, then stop. I turn my head around to face her.

"Thanks," I say, "for being here."

She doesn't say anything. She cups my cheek in her hand and lifts my face closer to hers, and touches her lips against mine. I wrap my hand around the back of her head and press our faces closer together. I feel her tongue graze my lower lip, and she pulls back.

"Thanks for saving me." she says quietly, her eyes looking into mine, a slight smile across her face.

I actually think it's _she_ who's saved _me._

I smile back, then start up the motorcycle.

Renesmee wraps her arms back around my abdomen and rests her chin on my shoulder, and we both ride away.

**_The Beginning_**

* * *

**FINALLY! DONE!**

**i ended it with **The Beginning** because this is only the beginning for Jake and Renesmee**

**and if you haven't noticed, each title for each chapter is a line from different Evanescence songs**

**chapter 1, 2, and 3:**_ My Immortal_**  
**

**chapter 4: **_Bring Me To Life_**  
**

**chapter 5: **_Breathe No More_**  
**

**chapter 6: **_Lithium_**  
**

**chapter 7: **_Together Again_

**-Review-  
**


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